Five tips on how to smoothen the long and winding road that is your blessed union.
Relationships will have their ups and downs, highs and lows when you bring two people together situations of conflict may arise under one roof and you ask ‘ what do you want to watch on tv?’ that is a common case in todays soccer hungry guys and nolloywood loving lady’s guess you see what i mean.
If you’re currently going through a rough time , and the very sight of your partner in the morning( after your side lost the game) is driving you around the bend, console yourself with the knowledge that this too shall pass.
That doesn’t mean you aren’t going to have to step on the gas to speed the process, however.
Here are five tips on how to travel over a rough patch on the long and winding road of your relationship.
1 Connect, accept, love
Connection, acceptance, love — that’s what we desire from our partners,during a tough time, one or all of these things may feel in doubt and the effect can be corrosive to intimacy within the relationship because we then withdraw from our partner, or are partner withdraws from us.
Make connection, acceptance and love’ the foundation of your interactions with your partner by being reliable, honest, kind and available these kinds of attitudes will go a long way to generating the necessary trust that a solid
relationship requires. The opposite of these behaviours will decay the foundations and cause a reactionary cycle to spin out of control.
An example of everyday kindness and availability: offer to give your stressed-out partner a back rub
2 Pay attention to signs
You’re sharper, angrier, more impatient, snappier and more withdrawn with your partner — these are all signs that you’ve hit a low point in your relationship, other signs include indulging in “soothing behaviours” such as shopping, gambling, flirting, joining online chat rooms or use of porn, drinking, staying out late, working longer hours and the like.
In short, if you’re thinking, “I’m taking care of me, you’re on your own”, you’ve lost sight of the fact that you’re in a relationship and you’re putting “me” above “we”. Cut that kind of thinking off, and stop the associated behaviours that fuel it. If you always have to be right…expect to eventually be alone, Keep your own ego in check.
Speak the word, ‘we’ more often than the word, ‘I’, ‘me’ or ‘mine’” and make “It’s you and me babe and we’re in this together” your mantra.
3 Take a look in the mirror
Of course your partner can be a thoughtless rube, but rather than focus on their shortcomings ask yourself how you may feed a cycle of hurt feelings and emotional reactions. The point of the exercise in self-reflection is to not lose
sight of your responsibility for internal conflict, as this represents an even split in a relationship.
You can likely take at least 50 percent of the credit for what’s run amuck, if you’ve done something insensitive or said something cruel, don’t minimize — apologize. Remember this is the person you love and who loves you, and think about the kind of person you want to be — not the kind of person your partner should be.
Take responsibility for yourself and always give better than you get. Be the man/woman that you want to feel proud of in the mirror.
4 Perform regular relationship maintenance
We often invest more time, effort and energy in maintaining our, phones clothes, cars and our homes than we do our relationships, apply the same conscientiousness you extend to your phones clothes, car and home to the health of your union by checking the emotional dip stick from time to time. and no, emotional dipstick’ is not an appropriate term for your partner, ask your partner how they’re doing, if they need anything, or surprise them and do something or them without being asked.
Why bother to be so wonderful? To make dinner or wash the duvet and make the bed for your beloved after a hard day at work, or taking care of the kids? Because the payoff is real: Your partner will feel valued and cared about.
5 Trust the power of “we” and don’t give up
Individually we’re flawed, but together we may just make up one not-so-bad human being, so see the journey through together — even when you hit a bump in the road. Such times build confidence in our capacity to manage life’s challenges and we begin to trust the power of ‘we’, and when we choose to stick it out rather than bail out, we grow together, couples who are discouraged about the wear and tear on them brought about during their reactionary cycle, (a tendency that gets a spouse triggered to react in a destructive way) is what they brought into the relationship and what they will take on to the next relationship…so they might as well get a handle on it now and solve all issues with love, honesty and respect, after all you do love your spouse.
“The tips stated here are the views of the writer and not the ‘perfect method’ to finding solutions to issues that affect your relationship it may serve as a way point to foster, establish, militate or create togetherness in a relationship.”